The sin of pride has always been a tough one for me. Its hard to see why accomplishing something, and being proud of that fact, is a sin, and the particularities of that sin has always been... a little convoluted. Of course, I could understand that one could be prideful to the detriment of others, or maybe being so prideful that you become bloated on your own narcissism, or become prideful to the point of refusing much needed help, or even letting your sense of pride fill you to the point of forgetting to be grateful.
That being said, if I work hard at something and accomplish that goal, wether it be personal like weight loss or material like getting out of debt, I feel that it would be within my rights to feel proud of myself for accomplishing that.
But, something that happened yesterday made me realize that pride is a trap within a trap. Let me explain. Its always been a matter of pride to me to be the most non-judgmental person I could possibly be. I put alot of conscious effort into my thoughts and actions so that I respond to learning something about someone with compassion first, and love second. No matter how horrible that action could be. Maybe its because I (and so many others, really everyone Im sure at one point) have been on the receiving line of these remarks, and see it every day due to my size and other things as well. So I always make a consious effort to try to stop the initial reaction of giving my opinion on said thing, or rather aknowledging the judgment and letting it fall away. Ive told myself that I was real good at that, who else but the judged can be so non-judgemental?
Pride. Trap within a trap.
Recently there was a story that hit the news running, about a woman in China who flushed a baby in a sewer pipe. Talk about a nightmare. I was discussing this with my friend who is just a couple of weeks away from giving birth, and understandably so, she was very vociferous in her opinion of the event. And despite all that talk about being non judgmental, all that pride, my reaction was to not only agree with my friend, but add on some very negative comments of my own. Judging this woman who lives across the world from me, who I knew absolutely nothing about apart what the media told me. I fell into the trap.
What really brought it home, is after spending some bashing this woman yesterday, I read another article this morning explaining further the who what of that occurence (or at least whatever the media chose to reveal), which magically shows a completely different side of the story, and putting the woman in a very different situation. Guilt, shame, realization.
I am no better than the rest. I am just like the rest. Pride crumbles to ashes, and I feel... humbled. And that lesson was accomplished and driven home. I now have a different view of pride, and the sin accomplished in it. I think the sin originates from the seperation of our souls, this little island we create for ourselves, where we are the best and we did something or act in a way thats so wonderful theres no way anyone can reach us up here, forgetting all about the hands and shoulders we got a boost from on the way to the top. I think they key, for me anyways, lies in gratitude. Meaning instead of feeling puffed up about myself having accomplished this or that, if I turned instead towards being thankful, really and truly feeling and realizing the impact that the whole world has on me, that I could never be where I am/will be without my people, pride would fall away and reveal something even more beautiful underneath.
Proverbs 11:2 - ''When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.''