Friday, June 24, 2011

Amazing rebound

A few days ago, I received some news which really angered and distressed me. It seems trivial, but my father's brother told me he and his family would not be able to come to the ceremony and most probably be late to the reception as well because my cousin would be graduating. Of course, being true to myself, I replied the proper words, said it didnt matter, etc. and inside I was seething.

Of course I 'understood', his daughter was graduating from high school and he wants to be there for that. But it didnt take away from the fact my father's only brother would not be, essentially, at my wedding. In a twisted way, it felt like my father would not be there, even though I am not close with my uncle, and he is nothing at all like my father. So alot of hurt and tears followed the next few days after that.

But then, with more time, thought, and prayer, I realized what a selfish reaction that was. In fact, although I had every right to be disappointing, my negative reaction was really just because I was dealing with my father not being with me on my wedding day. Of course my uncle and his family would want to go see their only daughter receive her high school diploma, who was I to think that they would miss this once-in-a-lifetime event? They will come when they can, and I should be grateful, not angry!

This epiphany of sorts came around yesterday or so, and today, I got an email from my half-sister's mother. She stated that she would be coming down to Montreal, and since she takes care of my only niece Cailey, she would be coming down with her! I will be meeting my only niece for the first (and perhaps only) time in her/my life, and I am so excited! I would never had thought that this would have happened, I dont even know if she knows who I am! I feel like this was a test, and I passed, and here is my reward! God works in mysterious ways, for real!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Taking the time to bake quietly

I love to bake. That’s no secret to anyone that knows me. Science and chemistry in the form of pleasurable nourishment with the end result of seeing enjoyment and satisfaction on the faces of people around me is a simple way to be happy. And lately, Ive been trying to really go back to the basics of the enjoyment of baking, by doing it silently.

To bake quietly, simply put, is to really immerse yourself in the actual sounds of organic, hands-on baking. No electrical appliances needed (apart from the stove) which means no hand mixer, no ticking timer, no blender, absolutely no noise that comes from anything that has to be plugged in, turned on, etc. Just the beautiful sounds of spoon against bowl, of sifting flour and sugar, and of a rubber spatula scraping the bowl. I find absolute peace in hand mixing my things, in relying on my nose to tell me if its finished baking, and on buttering/flouring those muffin tins one by one.

I whipped up a batch of cornmeal blueberry muffins in honour of St. Jean Baptist, and this is a quick recipe that doesn’t dirty many dishes, and uses common ingredients. Its also so easy to make if you have impromptu guests coming over in half hour that you didn’t expect (like I did). Company, and muffins, are good for the soul!


  • 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup cornmeal
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup butter, melted
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice (to add a touch of acidity to counterbalance the sweetness of the sugar)
  • 1 cup frozen blueberries (frozen blueberries do not purple your batter, and add moisture to baked goods as they steam in the oven)


1.     Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. I grease my muffin tins with a bit of butter and in this case a sprinkle of cornmeal. Gives it a rustic edge, I find, and using flour would have messed with my pretty yellow look.

2.     Sift flour, cornmeal, brown sugar, salt and baking powder together into a large bowl. Dredge the blueberries in the sifted ingredients (for extra insurance). In a small bowl, combine the milk, butter, lemon juice and egg. Stir the wet ingredients into the flour mixture just until moistened. Spoon batter into prepared muffin tins.

3.     Bake in oven until it smells and feels ready (about 15 mns). Let muffins sit for 10 minutes before removing from the pan.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Since I am getting married in the chapel on Ile St-Bernard, in the D'Youville Manor, I have especially directed my prayers and thoughts lately to Saint Marguerite D'Youville. And ftom what I understand, her feast day is the day after our wedding. :) So I am trying to learn more about her, and I found this cute prayer online and wanted to share:

St. Marguerite d'Youville,
During your lifetime,

you opened your heart and home
to every type of human misery.

Listen now to my prayer of petition.
I count on you to plead with the God of Love
to grant the favor I seek with confidence and trust.

Gift us as you were gifted;
with ever deepening faith,
with firm hope and trust.
Let my life be for all a service of love.

Mother of Universal Charity,
your love for the poor
made the impossible possible.
Please make haste to help me.
Im also looking for any prayers directed to the Blessed Virgin for marriage, raising a family in Christ, and homemaking, if anyone has any to share! BTW, silly Blogger isnt letting me comment or reply to anything, for some reason...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

A whole bunch of stuff

This is what I did Monday night:

Pretty boss, right?

I've been enjoying my written experiment, and completely confirmed my theory that when you write something by hand, it takes more time and linguistic precision, which therefore makes it mean more. I remember I used to write poetry on a regular basis back in my late teens. Granted I was going through a pretty dark and depressive time which was excellent fodder for poetry, but nevertheless, I still wrote. I tried to write a poem yesterday. Absolutely nothing came out, complete stall. Hmm.. does being generally chemically and emotionally well-balanced mean that you don't have the creative juices to write a poignant poem? Maybe its the pages of thoughts and words upon words that became a long, book-like poem which noone would have any inclination whatsoever to read...

Despite my (unintentional) neglect, my plants are thriving, and I have seen even my eggplant shoot up. Bunch o' hardy little things, arent they? My exotic plant which I just couldn't identify died though. I dont think I had the right environment for it at all, so Im quite surprised it lived so long!

Wedding update, the date has been drastically moved forward to October 15th of this year. No I am not pregnant, which is reaqlly frustrating to have so many people ask me that. The first couple were funny, now its just getting ridiculous. People either a) didn't listen to  believe a word I said about keeping chaste till my wedding, and/or b) have this hypocritical notion of women being traditional enough to quickly get married before they give birth (to what end??), yet completely disregard the notion of virginity (this generation's new f-word) and abstinence prior to getting married. Now I've been trying to keep my swearing to a minimum, but I believe this deserves a WTF???

My hubby-to-be loves me, so he bought me this. <3 Ooooooh baby!! I already made him a skillet sized cookie to thank him, and tomorrow I will be making a blueberry and lemon skillet cake. I am so excited!

I have just started my summer break, and the days have gone by so fast! It is absolutely wonderful to be able to clean (did I just say that) and organize! I want to catch up on my meal plan, which had severely fallen behind, and return my small household to the level that it was before. Sad to say, in this last month rush, I had let things slide (like not recycling things when I should have, buying bread rather than making it, buying non-organic body products because I didnt have time to make/search for the right things, etc) Argh. But I will have victory!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


I have been filled with a sense of gratitude lately.

I am grateful that I have a wonderful  husband-to-be that doesn’t even bat an eye when after 3 months of not taking the birth control pill, I finally came out and said I just could not willingly put unneeded and quite harmful  chemicals in my body  anymore. I also came clean about my wish to abstain from sexual intimacy until marriage and instead of freaking out and ending the future I want with him, he agreed to give him the space I needed. And considering the fact we have led our lives up to now as average people, this must be quite the shock. So imagine how I felt when I finally got it off my chest and waited cringing to see his reaction, and it turned out to be supportive? I am the luckiest girl in the world.

I am grateful that I have so many good friends who are the first to step up and tell me that they love me and miss me and want to see me. It’s crazy how just a little thing like a facebook post on my Wall that took less than 30 seconds makes my whole entire day just that much better.

I am grateful for the love my family has towards me, no matter the sometimes awkward way we have of communicating it. My mother especially is such a blessing.

I am grateful for everything that I have, can have, will have. Being worried about future debt on a home pales in comparison to where will I get my next meal, or how will I get my children the medical care theywill need?

I am thankful for being able to control my future, and willingly grow into the person I really want to be.

Thank God for everything that I have.