Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Unfulfilled Longing

What does it feel like, in your belly?
What does it feel like, in your heart and soul?
To know that you carry the most precious thing in the world?

How does your brain work, your eyes see, your hands touch
When you know you think/see/touch for two?
What does his face look like when you tell him?
What do his eyes look like when he puts his hands on your bump
And know that's part of him in there?

What are your very first thoughts, when you learn?
Are you afraid, joyous, anxious, bursting with sunshine?
What does it feel like to be in love with your own creation?
What does it feel like to carry a little tiny thing that is completely innocent?

What does it feel like, that moment, that one singular moment
When you hear its voice, its own little voice
For the first time? When you hold it for the first time?
When you look into its eyes, into its pure soul, for the first time?

What does that love feel like?
How do you not burst with feeling?
How do you let anyone else but your lover hold and care for that precious tiny bundle?
How can you go to sleep at night without irrational anxiety?

What is like to have a child?


  1. this is beautiful.

    yes, yes and yes.

    did you write this?

    the love feels like...

    beautiful sunset making the clouds golden and illuminating a flock of birds flying south for the winter...
    it feels like a full bladder you tolerate for two hours smiling goofily at your baby sleeping in your arms...
    it feels like the knowledge of knowing every day that at least you are appreciated, and nobody else could do your job; however boring, tiring, frustrating or overwhelming some days are... you alone are Mommy, which, you learn, is another word for "rock of security", "bastion of goodness and sweetness", "gate of heaven", "bliss and security just two arms away", in baby language... and no matter how big and strong your kids get, you'll know that's the foundation you gave them, that's who mom really is in their minds and hearts.

  2. Ladies, these words and Amy, your explanation. Is beautiful. :) It paints a lovely image.