Thursday, December 23, 2010

De tout et de rien..

I haven't posted in awhile and its not because I have nothing to say (quite the contrary). However, time has completely slipped through my fingers and I simply did not have a second to be able to properly put down my thoughts. So here is a mix and jumble of what's going on right now -

Jeff is leaving (with his family for Florida) for 12 days on the morning of the 26th. Am I being a baby by dreading this? I havent spent one night away from Jeff for about two and a half years now... I was going to go, however my doctor told me that I was unfit for travel, health wise. My asthma has been going down in a spiral, and I have new, more powerful medication to take. However, the amount of meds I have to take simply to get through the day is getting ridiculous, and I am afraid of what will happen, where my health is going etc. I know what I have to do, I just dont understand why its so hard to do it.

I have been praying. Now this might seem very mundane, however I havent prayed in years. Possibly since my father passed away. Its been... wondeful.

I am attempting to make cranberry spice biscotti tomorrow. My very first attempt at biscotti, very much looking forward to it, wish me luck!

I am going to Midnight Mass with a couple of my friends tomorrow night. First of all, I have never been to it, and second, I have friends who want to go to Mass with me. That is ridiculous. In a wonderful, fantastic way.

This is my father. Three years ago, I hadnt even aknowledged his death, but Jeff came along and helped me to start dealing with all that. Although I needed it, of course, it just means that the void he left behind is there, and its huge. Christmas has been real tough these last couple of years, but I wish him a Merry Christmas, wherever he is.

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