School started again, and suddenly I am back to no time for anything, stress levels are high as the ceiling, and Im feeling overwhelmed already. Had to give in this giant project and I have a presentation Sunday morning, and honestly, I am finding class redundant. We are not learning anything that I have actually had to use in my work, the projects are stupid and dont help me do anything except stress and stress. To be fully honest, if I had gone through this class at the beginning of this process, I would probably have quit. However, we are in the last stretch (literally) of this whole school business, and this is my final semester, and I am looking forward to June/July with great anticipation. I cannot imagine my life with no other engagements other than work, to have weeknights and weekends free! To be able to go to Church with my grandmother on Sundays, and to go hang out with friends on Friday or Saturday nights without thinking about school the next day? Not to have projects to hand in? Seems like a fairy tale to me.
On the flip side, I love work! I love where I work, and the work that I do. Those children are a ray of sunshine in my life, and forever surprise me with what they know and think of. And I think that it is that, over anything else, that keeps me hooked. Prior to working with children, I never kept a job longer than a year. Not because I was fired, but because I just got bored and left. Sears, UPS, whatever it was, I just learned the job, did it, and left as soon as I felt confident and rised in the workplace. But these children will never be mundane, static, flat-line. Every day is different, every day brings at least one moment of 'I love these children, I love this job'. We were talking the other day about a Mohawk tradition, where they hold a bit of tobacco and wish for something, then burn the tobacco to send the thoughts into the heavens. I was honestly expecting things like wishing for a game console or whatever. This is what I heard: 'I hope my baby sister never gets sick', 'I hope my mom quits smoking', and 'I wish that my mom and dad could be happy toguether and live in the same house again'. Wow. That one got me good. God forbid I ever become jaded, and I miss out on these wonderful moments!
On a side note, Im off to bake some scones (thanks Amy for the recipe!) to go with the jam I just made. Will post pictures if I am successful. And probably even if I am not. Ta-ta!
I'm suprised to hear of these childrens' wishes! That is too beautiful! Aw man. I probably would have wished for money myself.. lol but not more than I need.
ReplyDeleteOh man Cyn, you are an inspiration. How you manage to work, go to school, keep a house and bake (while planning a wedding) .. you are just amazing, you know that? I don't have the energy to do half of that.
I still want to grow up to be you. xo