Thankfulness

1: conscious of benefit received <for what we are about to receive make us truly thankful>

2: expressive of thanks <thankful service>

3: well pleased : glad <was thankful that it didn't rain

I don't have a problem with gratitude per say. Maybe because I lived and witnessed such crap moments that I'm driven to notice those insignificant yet tremendously important moments and express my thankfulness for these moments. I will limit what I own and feel intense flashes of guilt because I know what`s out there, and I know people have so much less than me and I want to just give it all away (not entirely healthy, I know).

Now that being said, I`ve felt frustrated and in a particular dark mood lately, and my gratitude has turned to bitterness, and I feel at times hopeless, useless, stuck in a rut, and a whole bunch of other negative nelly words.   But how could I be, when I compare my life now to my life 5, 10, 12 years ago? But still, for some reason, gratefulness has been escaping me.

That is, until I found this wonderful author: Ann Voskamp. Her book (and blog) is pure poetry, and in it, there is a refreshing and purity of selfless-ness and everyday living that is based on thankfulness. In fact, her book revolves around this wonderful idea of a Gratitude List. In short, you jot down a few things you are grateful for every day. It can be anything, from having enough food to your favorite warm pjs to that sudden epiphany you had while drinking tea. The point is to make the connection between daily mundane events and see how truly blessed each and every one of us is, no matter our situation. She suggests (and Dares You) to aim for 1000 in a year (so roughly 3 a day).

I have decided to do so, and have started my own notebook. As if I wasnt already surrounded by a million things on which to be grateful, she has a monthly calendar sort of thing where she suggests what you can specifically search to be grateful. For example, for today`s date, she suggests you find a grace in your bag, your fridge, and in your heart. I can think of at least 20 different things off the top of my head. I am so looking forward to the positive that this is going to bring in my life. Here is to being grateful, and honestly glad, and thankful.

''Whether a grandmother or not a mother, that’s what changed them: Love. Keeping a list of His love. His Love is the only thing that changes any of us and living loved — wouldn’t this change everything? The fears I’d been feeling, the overwhelmed and uncertain — Is every failure to experience joy because I made an excuse to not give thanks?Taking up the dare all over again — the dare to slow down and wake up and receive all God gives for what it is — a gift. Take the the Joy Dare. Isn’t that what Aristotle said– “We are what we repeatedly do.”

Then Christianity isn’t an act — but our faith is expressed only in our habits. A habit of not complaining, but the habit of giving thanks; the habit of not worrying, but a habit worshipping. The habit of repeatedly giving God praise that our lives might become a prayer. Small is always the leverage of large. It’s one moment after the other, the small moments that turn a life. It’s the small actions that can change a life.It’s habits that can imprison you and it’s habits that can free you and when thanks to God becomes a habit, so joy in God becomes your life. ``